Traces. . . ..

Traces of your love is getting further,
How have i not missed you.
Have i stopped loving you ?
For I'm feeling worst now,
my love has to be kept within.

As much as i do wan to care and love you,
I'm afraid I'm afraid i was not allowed to do so more.
It is painful keeping hurt and love from you,
it is hurtful for me to be angry with you.
i Love You.
it might be easier for you to forget me if i'm cold to you.
I've led myself into a storm of coldness.
With all the love i have,
I have chosen to be cold towards you,

This is not what I'm expecting;
This is not me.


someone....help me please....
*cries*

Amusement

I'm amazed by how you look when you first caught my attention,
I'm amazed that i didn't aware of your sweetness and innocent any sooner,
I'm amazed by you, amazed by your smiles.
I'm amazed that i was once someone that can make you laughs.
I'm amazed that i soon fell in love with you.

and i was amazed that i fell so deeply in love with you; uncontrollably.

I'm amazed at how lovely you look everyday,
I'm amazed by our character so deeply,
.
.
.
I'm amazed by how turns of events have turns us to,
I'm amazed by our constant quarreling,
I'm amazed that how we first attracted each other, now turns against us.
I'm amazed by all the hurt that comes, all the effort we have put in, so amazingly.
I'm amazed by how we ended, how much we had put in to yield such returns.

I'm amazed to see you, feeling no connections stills me.
Feelings so slow and lost in time,
I'm so so amazed by you, i'm so amazingly loving you.

you dance in my heart,
leaving footsteps all over me,
without knowing, you have walked rounds in my heart,
it felt comfortable with your footsteps all over,
my heart starts to get used to having a companion,
.
.
.
days of events stirs cold winds to my heart,
burying the footsteps,
my heart feels cold and lonely.

I'm amazed how hard my heart aches,
I'm amazed how vulnerable i was,
I'm amazed how much i could spend night tearing for my lost.

I'm amazed by you, by you; I'm amazed by.

i always believe that i have got a strong will and mind,
never have i thought that You have caused me to shaken so badly.

For this post felt a foot print in my heart,
in days when i have returned to view,
i shall grieve for the lost again.
For i have not heal,
i still yearn for love.

~Diary_

Memories vividly true.
Scents of you blends plain.

seeing everything else besides you now,
hurtful yet hurtful again.

Pictures of you holds the key to my memory,
memory of you holds the key to my heart,
feelings of you holds the key to my soul,
forgetting you stands no feet.

Grieve over my lost,
for your willfulness,
for your selfishness,

"i don't know what this will bring us, but lets give it a try ok?"
for a word like that, i held my heart in captives, not getting too high hopes.
For you are so attractive in my heart, i held no strength not to love you all.
For our start of a relationship, you had someone else in heart,
i was no good then, i was hurt.
For again we tried, and tired we grew because you aren't prepared.
Have i not done enough? So tired we already were,
have i not held strong and put up a strong face ?
Am i not allowed spaces for error ?
So many questions, all answers drowns in your way.
so many hurts, drown in my effort to make you happy still.

Why am i not loved so?
Why am i not...
Still disappointed with your answers that i stomps.
back then, for the first time, i was devastated and lost completely.
For the first time, my heart decided to rest.
For the first time, it no longer hurt,
it plainly fills with sorrows.

Completely Incomplete

Time passes me by,
memories holding me back.

It has been long since i last really have a good look at you,
i've been a cry baby, as if i have lost someone very important in my life,
no, i did lost someone important in my life, You.

starving for your love, starving for you.
Why.......

tRy~

it seems so good to be true,
when every remark of future that we can have together,
yet i cant believe that you had the heart to say the things you said.
it hurts so badly that it ended us.


i cant believe all this relation between us gone down the drain.
how i wish things don't happen this way.
i tried so many times to save this relationship but you just couldn't see
you just keep insisting.
Now that all you got to say is sorry,
how would that help?

All we did is fight and say things hurtful to each other,
all we did started me hurting and crying.
We had a tough journey and i guess you had enough of it and it all go.
If you just tell me whats the point of holding on to our love when it hurts us all,
i will recite.

everything seems so far from me now,
waking up to reality or sleeping into one?

Early Heart

so many times i was alone,
so many times i couldn't sleep.
Ever since you are gone,
i found it hard on myself.
There's so much that your heart just couldn't see.
A thousand wasted dreams roll of my eyes.

I like to be on the road again,
like the feeling to be used to be the other day.
My heart is always finding a place to hide.
Hide from all our memories.
Hiding from all the "us" we had.

Now that we are no longer we,
do i not take a break?
do i not to care for you anymore?
do i not take care of your heart?
do i not kept all feelings i wan you to have to myself?
do i not kept every hurt and pain all to myself?
do i not want you to feel the pain i feeling now?

Is it ok not to think of you now.
Is it ok for me to let it all go.
Is it ok for my sleep turn into cries.
Is it ok for me to wait till tomorrow.
It is ok for me to put myself away to take care of your heart?
Of your heart i came,
of your heart i learnt
of your heart i change
of your heart i tried.

For time and yourself, cant wait for my changes to be made.
I sing my cries with my heartache and tears.
For so many times,
i was weary,
i kept quiet,
i long for your laughters,
i long for closeness.

Now that it is all gone.
I still love you so much.

To you

jus as usual,

when i turn around that corner, i merge into the sea of people

and melt away into nothingi lose myself completely

and find no words to say

yet, one thing, your voices

still remains, still remains

everything about your, your smile, your anger

keeps me walking forward

if i just look up, where the clouds starts to break

i think you know what i mean

i think you know what i mean

Hearts

That day begins when you made the decision.
A new chapter of your life is made.
A new decision of mine is made.

I force myself to promise that i will not cry for you ever again.
I promise myself not to get hurt again.
The more i don't cry, the more pain i feel.
It is not going to end.
I feel like crying out now, it's painful.

But i can't.

How much longer i can hold,
How much more strength i have in me?
I have already used all up in loving you.
Why love doesn't justify me,
What am i.

So much memories, and it hurts me to get them of my head one by one,
it hurts to think, it hurts to get them out.
Neither is less painful, neither is less easy.
I miss you, but it hurts me to think of you.
I yearn for you, its painful for me to know that i can't anymore.


A little island off coast,
holding immerse memories for myself to indulge in.
Every train seems so vivdly filled with us.
Every step on the beach seems so clear.
Every thing there seems small for i have only you in heart.
Lot of arguement,
Lots of love,
I fret not as it is your heart i am after.
Looking over the island,
I see a load full of memories that melts me

Emotion Struggle

You woke me up a reality,
throwing me into yet another reality that i wrote this all about.

I am back to where i first started.
Hanged out to dry, dry of my weary tears that streams down the same path along my face.

And i can write it down about us and get lost in the maze of us.
Where you belong and where belong i am with ?